Friday, January 14, 2011

Little more than perplexed now

Ok so I thought the thing with my youngest daughter wasn't that big of a deal. Was hoping it would pass and wouldn't affect me that much. But......I came home this evening from work to find a bible perched on my computer desk. It still sits here staring at me. There is also a couple highlighters so she can mark passages that she may like. I really try so hard to be accepting of others religion and the choices in their lives, but this is in my face now and I am struggling big time with it. 


Listen I don't have issues with the Christian religion, it's their thing. More power to them as long as it doesn't infringe on my life I am all cool with it. Don't want to sound like my parents but this is my house and I am allowing her to live with me and am even willing to pay for her way to Arkansas when the house does sale. She isn't working but is looking for a job. I fight with her to get things done around the house and I guess part of me feels like this is just one more excuse that will be used that she doesn't get anything done around here. 


This is a girl that before this guy mentioned his new found path was an atheist. Now it's because she didn't read the bible that she was one that didn't believe in any higher power. I am almost positive that she just wants to keep this guy that she is going down this road and as soon as she gets rid of him she will not continue down this road. 


I asked where the bible came from as I know the ones I own are all packed and she said that her grandmother, my mother, bought it for her. WELL OF COURSE SHE DID!! 


Me and my mother......well we aren't the best of friends. Really if she wasn't my mother I probably wouldn't even associate with her. I know sounds really harsh, but there is a lot of history there and one thing I learned about my mother when I was little and have never forgotten is that she has a motive to her own benefit to everything she does and it doesn't matter who it affects along the way. So I can only imagine what her purpose is for this. My brothers have learned that if they want something from my mom they just have to tell her that they have turned to God and they need help, she is all over it like white on rice, no matter how many times they get DUI's or how many women they get pregnant. 


Ok I admit I am sounding way too bitter and resentful here but this has me all turned around and don't know what to do. I am trying to make my house a very positive and guilt free area. Some place that I can call MY sanctuary and I feel like this is really being ignored and disregarded. 


Now I am looking at a statue of a saint that if you bury him in the yard it will help your house sale faster. My mother bought this as well.


Can someone please come over and choke me because I feel like it is already happening mentally and spiritually, might as well be physically as well. LOL 


Think I am going to go meditate for a while and take some long deep breaths before I lose it completely. 


Sorry about the ranting and going on about this. I will be chipper soon, I promise. LOL




May your day be filled with smiles and blessings. 




Julia

2 comments:

  1. I feel your pain. When I first turned to paganism, my then MIL was a "born again" Christian - and she learned (because they teach them) what the "signs" were of those who are into what was then called New Age Religions. So when she spied crystals in my house she became militant for Jesus. I had small children then and she used her "Grandma Day" with them to push her religion. Ugh.

    Oh, by the way - that saint upside down? That's really an old "hoodoo" and Santeria spell. The Christians think it's ok to do because a saint you use, but don't forget the saints were used by the African Slaves to represent their gods from the Yoruba religion (because they were not allowed to keep their religion when they were enslaved.) The saint you have is probably St. Joseph - representing the Yoruba God "Osain" who is the master herbalist! So anyway, the saints are not specifically christian or catholic, and saints are used in many spells in different traditions. So ha ha - you should "plant" St. Joseph - (I have heard that this works, by the way.)

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  2. Aine are you sure we don't share a MIL/mother? lol Because that sounds just like my mother.


    It is Saint Joseph actually and yes you bury it upside down and facing the street. You know what I should have known that it wasn't something that started out in christianity. I was just so blinded by everything else that I didn't see it for what it was. Then he will definitely be buried tomorrow on my day off.

    Thank you again Aine, you always seem to know exactly what I need to hear. Many hugs and blessings to you!!!

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