Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Why do we apologize for crying

I was watching a video about a lady that was shot and she began to cry on camera and immediately she apologized for it. I have noticed myself doing it as well. Especially right after the passing of Chuck. I will be telling someone about how he passed and will begin to tear up and I will immediately apologize for it. 


What are we apologizing for? That we have a heart and show our emotions? That we are going through an emotional time and it is hard to hold back the emotions? Why? 


We have all seen someone cry before. We have all cried ourselves. It is a part of life. I can guarantee that at some point in the future you/me will cry again. 


Heck we even expect people to cry. It has even made the news when someone doesn't cry. Someone will lose someone to murder and they didn't cry on tv to a news reporter and that will make big news. Why aren't they crying? What are they hiding because they didn't cry?


So why is that we feel compelled to apologize for our emotions? 


Are we saying sorry because our crying might make the other person feel uncomfortable? I remember having a very stressful day at work and my boss came to talk to me about it and I started to cry and I could tell by the look on his face that he was freaking out, besides the fact that he told me when a woman cries he doesn't know what to do. That was one time I apologized for crying but also said, "Yeah I'm crying deal with it." That got an even more freaked out look on his face. 


Is that the reason? People don't know how to deal with someone crying or what to do in that instance. I'm sure we have all heard it before that when someone starts to cry just listen and be supportive. How hard is it to stand there for a few minutes and just listen to what this person has to say?


Are we so wrapped up in ourselves that we can't give a fellow person that is hurting, frustrated, etc. a few minutes of our time? Maybe if we did be supportive in that moment they wouldn't feel the need to apologize for crying and just maybe that is all they needed to get back out there. They just needed the release and now they will feel better. Maybe they will come back later and say thank you for letting me vent, I feel so much better. 


I don't know about you but I would rather hear a thank you than an I'm sorry. 


So I have decided to not apologize for my emotions anymore. I will also not let anyone apologize to me for theirs either. I will say that their apology isn't needed and they have every right to cry and I am hear to listen and be supportive. 


What are your thoughts on apologizing for crying or showing emotions? Do you apologize? Have you had someone apologize to you and how did you handle it? 






May your day be filled with many smiles and blessings. 







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