Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Just have to share

I finally took the plunge. I was sitting here most of the day listening to podcasts and just going over things for Imbolc tomorrow. I got my candle holders done and also a Brighid's cross as well. The cross is actually still in the oven as all this was made out of clay. 

So this evening I decided it was time. I wanted the house to be clean and ready for Imbolc tomorrow. And it was physically clean but it wasn't complete in my mind. I started to read others way of doing a cleansing of their house and chants that they used and they were all great but didn't connect with me. I decided to write my own and also wrote out the whole ritual. Wasn't a lot but it was just right for me. 

I started off by talking to the God and Goddess and asked that they guide me in my ritual. At first I was scared and nervous and thought to myself "what are you doing?" but I wiped it from my mind and just went with it. Figured if I was asking for their help I better shut my thoughts and mind out of it and just go with where they lead me.

Next I took a cleansing shower (don't do baths...just a quirk of mine) and I have to say that was amazing. I don't have all the special little things that a lot of people use so I just kind of went with what felt right. I imagined the negative energy running off of me and down the drain and away from my home. It was so peaceful and warm and and and...a thousand words to describe it but I don't think that would even be enough. 

I then did my little ritual of cleansing the house. At first it felt weird like I was almost just going through the motions and not really feeling it per say. But before I knew it I was just moving along and wasn't even following what I had written out for my chant. Was just saying what I felt needed to be said. Then I realized I had the biggest smile on my face and nothing felt weird or wrong just amazing and completely right. 

As I finished I thanked the God and Goddess for helping me through my first cleansing and sat down to just be. 

I have to say that everything I have been reading and studying all seemed like it was out of my reach. Something that I wouldn't be able to attain. Now I feel like it all makes sense. I get the reason for the Sabbats and Esbats and the reason for the altar.

I think especially the altar. I thought it was just something that Pagans do but now I get it. It's not something to just do it's something I WANT to do. I want to lay an altar out for them to show my gratitude for what they have done. To show them the love I have for them. 

I know some may say "You've done one little thing" which is very true and looking in from the outside it very well may seem that way. For me though it was a big step and one I have been putting off for months, maybe even years. Yes I have only been officially studying for a few days but I feel like I have been studying my whole life just not the actual steps of everything. 

Now it is all falling into place within my head and heart. I could probably go on and on about it. But I'm really kind of tired now and really hungry, what is that about? LOL So I am going to go find some food and then get my butt to bed, still have a lot to do for tomorrow and want to get an early start. 

Thank you for reading about this "newbies" first experience. 

And as always...

May your day be filled with many smiles and blessings!!


3 comments:

  1. You have not done one little thing, you have done one great thing!! It usually takes "newbies" a while before they realize that the best way to practice their beliefs is to do it their own way. I'm one of those people - spent a long time feeling that there was a right/wrong way. I still love tradition, don't get me wrong, but I want to feel, like you described "completely right," not satisfied that I had gone through the motions. For me (and that doesn't mean it's correct) I am more strict about circle casting and protection when doing spellwork, or a ritual that involves spellwork. If I am just honoring a season without doing formal magick, I don't necessarily do things by the book. However, I am strict about it while doing magical workings and that is not because it's "right" but because it's more "safe," protection-wise. I am a strong believer in both good and not-so-good and downright evil, so I am very careful about the preparations when dabbling in the magical world.

    But to perform this ceremony this way, creating it yourself and feeling its power, well, I doubt you're really a newbie after all - perhaps you are just becoming re-acquainted with old friends!

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  2. Aine that is exactly how it felt, almost like coming home. I didn't say in the post but I almost started to cry the minute I started to talk to the God and Goddess. Like they had been waiting for me to talk and when I did I felt all these fears melt away which made all the emotions bubble up inside of me. I do hope that you are having a safe and wonderful trip! Many smiles and blessings!!

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  3. You post brings back such memories for me of MY first altar and ritual. I was sooooo nervous. Even though I was an adult, I was afraid of being caught & told I was going to hell for what I was doing. LOL It took me a while to get comfortable doing ritual. But now it is like you said-- everything falls into place, I feel happy & at peace and the words just come from the heart.

    I would NOT say that this was a little thing! A first ritual is a very big thing! And you felt the magic in it, which is also a big thing. It sounds like you are on the right path!

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